The past couple of weeks have thrown me off. To the point where, not only did I not make any blog posts, but my house sort of fell into chaos for a bit. Not anything drastic.
But I got thrown off my groove completely.
Really, it’s a combination of things. Hormones fluctuating, depression being triggered by big events and changes, and the heat of the summer zapping away my energy. When things get to that point, I go into survival mode, where the only thing that matters is making sure we’re eating and nobody is in major crisis. We’ve watched a lot of “Finding Dory” and “Moana” to keep Aiden happy and to keep me sane.
Clutter and piles of things were accumulating on surfaces. And the floor…eww. It was getting gross enough that I could see our footprints on the tile. But even though the mess was bothersome to me, I just couldn’t muster up enough energy to keep up with it all.
The turning point was me discovering Aiden picking up some unknown object, likely a very old crumb or piece of food, and eating it. I wasn’t able to figure out what it was. But it was a clear indication that something needed to be done.
As I write this now, there are some dishes in the sink and counter that need clearing. There’s a pile of toys on the floor from Aiden pouring out the entire toy basket. And I have laundry sitting in my bedroom along with some things I got out from the closet to sort through.
I could very much start attacking it all right now, but the reality is, my body and mind are tired. I need rest. I need this time to myself while Aiden naps. I know that the other stuff will eventually get done.
I am usually so on top of these things, but I’m slowly learning the art of prioritizing and self-care.
If we don’t take time to care for ourselves, we won’t be able to take care of everything and everyone else. The saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup” is very true.
What motherhood and my recent discovery of my depression are teaching me is to give myself a little more grace. The permission to not be perfect. To let things go more.
I still believe that keeping our environment tidy and clean helps us feel better. But if there are times where we just can’t keep up with all of it and need time to recharge our batteries, I think it’s so important to give ourselves that time.
Of course, after these couple weeks, I’ve been able to see how my family still has too much stuff. That will become very apparent when you aren’t keeping up with cleaning and putting away things. So now my goal is to eliminate some of the stuff that’s taking over when I happen to have slower days and lower energy.
I want to create an environment that allows me to slow down when I need to. I guess you could say that all of my goals: keeping a tidy home, eliminating clutter and the non-essential, living an intentional life– they all point to taking better care of myself and my family.
I think we all deserve that.
If you get anything out of this, I hope you can take away this– It’s ok to take a break. It’s ok to treat yourself to a nap, or a Dr. Pepper, or a batch of brownies. I totally made brownies last night with my last burst of energy. Of course, hubby did the dishes. 😉
So give yourself the permission to take it easy. All the chores will still be waiting for you when you’re ready to kick butt.
What are some things you do for self-care or to take a break?